This was written by Catiana Ricard but she can't post it (Internet problems) :
I walked the streets of New-York, after finishing my Christmas shopping. It was a long day. I took a taxi to go home. I lived next to Central Park in an affluent neighborhood of NY. On my way home, I perceived that it lacked some candles to complete the decoration of the Christmas table. I took my wallet and walked to a grocery store near home. While walking, I saw the boxes next to a large green container. There was a box that moved. I approached slowly and discovered in one of the boxes a little puppy about six months. He had a around the red ribbon around the neck. I hugged him and went to a pet store to buy some food for him and went to the groceries to buy some candles. Back in my loft, I received a phone call from my parents telling me that they had arrived at the airport and they would take a taxi. I waited for their coming to showing them the little dog.. I was excited to see them...
"New York" (no hyphen necessary) "...in an affluent neighborhood of the city" (NY implies the state of New York, not the city. It is also not correct to use city or state abbreviations in a story unless you're using dialog and that's the way your character talks). "...I noticed that the Christmas Table (is that a thing? Usually we have trees...) needed some candles to complete its decoration." "...to a grocery store near my home." "...I saw some boxes next to a large green container. A box moved." I approached slowly, and opened the box. Inside, I discovered a little puppy of about six months." "He had a red ribbon around his neck."I hugged him and went to a pet store to buy some food for him. Then I went to the grocery store to buy some candles." "...I received a phone call from my parents. They said they had arrived and they would take a taxi from the airport to my place." "I waited for their arrival to show them the little puppy."
I love Christmas. Everybody is together, we sing, we dance, we laugh..
It was the 22nd of December and christmas was approaching. I had bought a bracelet for my best friend, a shirt for my father, a video game for my sister, a ball for my dog, a book for my mother and others things.. My presents were all beautiful and I was proud of that. The day came. All my family came to my house and we ate a very good diner. It was 9 p.m and my sister went to bed. The adults and I put the presents under the tree. I started to put them a bit all around the tree, some hidden by others, some on top of others but one was missing: my mother's. I looked for it everywhere, during about one hour, but I didn't find it. I went to bed, sadly..
The next morning, everybody woke up early like everyone on the earth I imagine. We were all excited as we took our breakfast. At one point I left the table to look for the lost Christmas present one last time.. but I didnt find it.. We started to open our presents when I heard some noise in the corridor. I went to see what was happening, and I saw my dog, who was playing with something. It was my mother's present ! I quickly took it, wrapped it again, and put it under the tree. Nobody saw that it had been lost! When my mother opened it she was so happy, that I was very happy too. !
This was a perfect Christmas day, I loved it. I'm already looking forward to the next Christmas!
This was written by Catiana Ricard but she can't post it (Internet problems) :
ReplyDeleteI walked the streets of New-York, after finishing my Christmas shopping. It was a long day.
I took a taxi to go home. I lived next to Central Park in an affluent neighborhood of NY. On my way home, I perceived that it lacked some candles to complete the decoration of the Christmas table. I took my wallet and walked to a grocery store near home. While walking, I saw the boxes next to a large green container. There was a box that moved. I approached slowly and discovered in one of the boxes a little puppy about six months. He had a around the red ribbon around the neck. I hugged him and went to a pet store to buy some food for him and went to the groceries to buy some candles.
Back in my loft, I received a phone call from my parents telling me that they had arrived at the airport and they would take a taxi. I waited for their coming to showing them the little dog..
I was excited to see them...
"New York" (no hyphen necessary) "...in an affluent neighborhood of the city" (NY implies the state of New York, not the city. It is also not correct to use city or state abbreviations in a story unless you're using dialog and that's the way your character talks). "...I noticed that the Christmas Table (is that a thing? Usually we have trees...) needed some candles to complete its decoration." "...to a grocery store near my home." "...I saw some boxes next to a large green container. A box moved." I approached slowly, and opened the box. Inside, I discovered a little puppy of about six months." "He had a red ribbon around his neck."I hugged him and went to a pet store to buy some food for him. Then I went to the grocery store to buy some candles."
Delete"...I received a phone call from my parents. They said they had arrived and they would take a taxi from the airport to my place." "I waited for their arrival to show them the little puppy."
Written by Chloe Bari-Levy
ReplyDeleteI love Christmas. Everybody is together, we sing, we dance, we laugh..
It was the 22nd of December and christmas was approaching.
I had bought a bracelet for my best friend, a shirt for my father, a video game for my sister, a ball for my dog, a book for my mother and others things.. My presents were all beautiful and I was proud of that.
The day came. All my family came to my house and we ate a very good diner. It was 9 p.m and my sister went to bed. The adults and I put the presents under the tree. I started to put them a bit all around the tree, some hidden by others, some on top of others but one was missing: my mother's. I looked for it everywhere, during about one hour, but I didn't find it. I went to bed, sadly..
The next morning, everybody woke up early like everyone on the earth I imagine.
We were all excited as we took our breakfast. At one point I left the table to look for the lost Christmas present one last time.. but I didnt find it.. We started to open our presents when I heard some noise in the corridor. I went to see what was happening, and I saw my dog, who was playing with something.
It was my mother's present ! I quickly took it, wrapped it again, and put it under the tree. Nobody saw that it had been lost! When my mother opened it she was so happy, that I was very happy too. !
This was a perfect Christmas day, I loved it. I'm already looking forward to the next Christmas!
"...Christmas was approaching" "...we ate a very good dinner."
ReplyDelete